Life with Lillie: Going back in time: July 2012

This is a hard one to write. I still don't even know WHAT to say or even IF I should say anything. I can't believe it was almost 2 months ago now.

Dad was diagnosed with a form of Muscular Dystrophy many years ago. He fought with vigor (even if it didn't always look that way to others) and a lot of stubbornness. He was a proud man and wanted to do as much as he could on his own for as long as he could even as his body grew weaker. He also didn't want to burden others with his pain. He preferred to focus on others and revel in their happiness than dwell on his illness. In the years and months prior it was easy to see the physical changes occurring but everything that happened at the beginning of July was still a huge shock to all of us. At the end of June dad developed a bad cough. He was not feeling well the whole week that we were down visiting but he would often get a bad cough in the past few years that would eventually go away so it seemed like nothing too huge and we all assumed he would recover soon.

On Sunday the 1st I got a call that dad was going to the ER and then another a few hours later that he had been admitted with pneumonia. Over the next few days I continued to get updates, each a little more worrisome. Updates were sent to friends and family as they came in. Throughout everything Lillie was a constant source of joy ... even when she decided to color on the slate in our entry way. She was a ray of sunshine as things got far more real and yet surreal at the same time.

It needed a little splash of color.

She got put to work cleaning it up. Never too early to learn a lesson about responsibility.

The start of a long love affair with the gazeebo. We go visit every Sunday during the farmer's market now.

On Wednesday, July 4th, there were calls to get to Virginia because dad had been moved to the ICU, emergency flights booked, pow wows in a practically deserted hosptial (it was a holiday after all), and the surreal sound of fireworks and celebration in the distance letting us know that the world wasn't stopping for everyone else. In the early hours of Thursday, July 5th dad passed away. It was jarring. We felt blindsided. The staff at the hospital was amazing and helpful and supportive as we tried to process everything. Friends and family appeared out of nowhere somehow always knowing when we needed something and also knowing when we needed space. The outpouring of support was overwhelming. People came from near and far to be there, to be with us. I don't think I/we will ever be able to fully explain our thanks to everyone for the ways they helped us.

We dealt with huge learning curves and planned events we couldn't have dreamed of needing to plan. We spent time with friends. We spent a lot of time with family. We talked about dad and what an amazing person he was. We focused on happy memories and through the sadness we created new happy memories and some bittersweet memories. We wished that dad could be there with us and knew that he was in spirit even if we couldn't see him.